12.22.2008

Change

It has been some time since I blogged here. Well, a lot has changed in the past year in the life of the Wellman household and God has been at the forefront of all of it. (Or at least I hope we have allowed him that position)

Upward finished last season well and on a positive note. Plans were quickly being made for next year. After Upward finished it was onto things like Easter, Block Party, VBS and camps. It was somewhere in the midst of the hectic and craziness that God saved me from myself and my misguided focus. Sometimes I think we confuse things and then justify them well. I began to refocus my energy toward my relationship with God and my family. Somehow ministry creeped in above these and then jumbled things up. I began to have more peace than I had ever experienced.

Then came change. Hmm, God began speaking to me in the quiet times (Funny how you hear him clearer when you make time for being quiet - even if they are short times) All that I could describe it was as a stirring. God was stirring the waters. I had heard it said, but wasn't exactly sure what it meant until I experienced it. I am still not confident of the final result of this stirring, but I know it's in process.

I think I am learning a lot about myself in this time of change and stirring. I find myself run into default mode - which I hate. I spent many years developing this default mode and undoing it is not so easy. For me default is to make everyone happy and do all that needs to be done all in my own time and strength. It is frankly exhausting. I have been praying Psalm 46:1 for a few months now. This reminds me that God is my refuge and strength and my ever present help in times of need.

So - if everything stayed the same we'd always be what we've always been right? so with change comes the opportunity to make things different. But is that my job or God's? God's of course - so as God brings the change and continues what He has going in the waters of my life, I will choose to lean on him for strength, run to him for refuge and count of him for his help in my times of need.

I do need to remember though not to mix up what's really important or who I do what for!

May God bless you and prune you in 2009

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